It overcame me yesterday.
Under the shade of the trees we first peeked at each other from behind, I just started crying.
Fuuuuck. And again, this morning, prompting a 20 minute bucket load of feelings that are not supposed to be there, warm and fluttering to the surface like lilly pads.
I miss him. The grip your chest and twist your heart kind. And I'm so scared that in the wake of me saying "I love you" outside the swimming perimeter of good bye, there will be nothing but silence when the ripples come back from the other side of the lake.
And silence is stronger than words sometimes. Especially when I'm scared. It stretches times like rubber bands around my breath, pulling me lucid, distilling my being.
So if I have to live inside an hourglass, waiting to fall and be tossed upside down again, why not build sandcastles. Beauty is better when it's days are numbered.
But love? I thought we had an agreement.
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