Today.
Wake up, lala, not very interesting morning, had lunch with my old pal Cale, heard the beginning tales of crazy Scientology Rehab and the brainwashings that go on there. Got a call from my regular client, he needed a massage bad. So an hour later I'm massaging, he's face down, with his left half draped, and his right half not.
Boom, girlfriend suddenly walks in (she doesn't like me because she thinks we have sex.)
Great.
And girlfriend makes the funniest face ever (given she thinks we're doing naughty things) and leaves. Simple enough.
Well she came back when I was done with the massage and gave me the full interrogation, what kind of massage do you do (accusingly and assumingly), are your clients always naked? I explained how the draping works, and explained that I've been the family therapist for TWO YEARS. .....longer than she's been screwing him.
So I go home, still kind of feeling icky from her energy, and get the urge to purge the studio. So I start throwing stuff away because it's just stuff, and all the hoarding in the world won't make me remember all the cool memories that I want to. I'm pulling things away from the wall and I start to find mice poo.
There was moose in the piano, and he was on my shit list. If I ever needed someone to take out anger on, he was it tonight. So I pull the piano away from the wall, and peered around to the back of it to find little tiny eyes peering back at me from inside my piano. I narrowed my eyes, grabbed the can of Raid and stood once again in front of the little freeloader. But then I was torn between spraying him (even though I know from experience that it doesn't kill them ...but it does give a little more meaning to the song "three blind mice"), or getting kitty for a massive chase down.
Well while I was thinking the moose ran under the piano, thus deciding for me that this was to be a massive chase down. Sorable (my lovely kitty) came up shortly after, sniffed the air, and immediately caught on to what was about to go down.
We spent the next hour hunting this fucking mouse, who ran from pile of stuff to behind the fridge to the stuff again to the bathroom to the laundry pile to behind the mirror to the corner of the bathroom, Kitty chasing him all the way. Well when the moose go to the last corner Sorable decided she was going to wait it out and laid down. Thanks.
So I provoked the mouse and it ran towards me. I screamed at it and killed it with the mop pole in one swift WHACK. And there was a quiet pause.
"YYYAAAAAAAAAAY! I KILLED DA MOOSE!" *victory dance!* I turned to dance with the kitty but she was waiting in front of the mini fridge like the moose was still there. Silly kitty.
Then I saw what had happened to the place in the process of the moose hunt. Totally trashed. So I cleaned and re-arranged everything, and now I have a chair to sit in so my hips don't get all messed up.
Yesterday:
I found out that about a month ago my Mother put her hands around my little brother's neck like she was going to choke him. She didn't....yet.
Big old Y-E-T.
Shit's hitting the fan for the old lady; that's what you get for making emotional business decisions.
The worst part was the White Cold Fury. So strong that all I could do was sit under the stairs at the clinic and try not to move. I hadn't felt something that strong in a looong time.
I saw Uncle Willie, Sienne and Cale that day. People from a year ago. Interesting.
Last Saturday:
I'm sick, sitting at the bus stop with my japanese don't touch me I'm sick mask on and the only other person there is a homeless guy who -won't- -shut- -up--. Then he starts telling people walking by to stay away from me, and yellling at me , "Have we ever been together?? THAT'S A QUESTION!!"
Last Friday:
I'm supposed to be singing with Kings Of Spade at Indigo's, but I'm home because I'm sick. So I'm cutting up some mango in the kitchen when I see this guy with a flash light in my neighbor's back yard. It's just starting to get dark but I can see that it's a cop. So I go to the door and ask if I need to protect myself. He holds up a 'one minute' finger and keeps looking around. Well I go and get my big serrated kitchen knife and stand back at the door. He finally explained that they were looking for the neighbor's problem kid (who's fucking insane and creepy and irritating everyone in the neighborhood) and thought he was hiding in one of the yards. Then he leaves.
So I look around where I'm standing, walk back inside, and am about to go into my back yard when I stop, peek around the corner to the front yard, and sure enough, dude's in my yard right behind my rock wall. The cop was gone, along with the option of screaming police.
So I walk outside up to this kid, point the knife at him, and say very loudly, "What the Fuck are you doing in my yard?"
Dude stands up, "Sssh! It's okay! I'm---I'm--"
"WHAT the FUCK are you doing in MY YARD!"
"I'm not gonna mess with you or your dog" (Zsazsa is officially useless. She was in full on "pet me!" mode.
"WHAT the FUCK are YOU DOING in MY YARD!!"
"Sssh! I"m hiding! I'm Jeremy, you're very pretty--"
"POLICE!!!!!"
I screamed police a few times. Dude turned, walked across the lawn and started to jump the fence. I pulled him down, and he ran out the front driveway.
*******
What a week.
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